An irreverent look at Lesbians of our time, a dictionary if you will.
A necessary self-definition in the '50s, if you wanted to get laid. It was out of style and vilified through the '70s as being male-identified (butch too male, femme a response to straight male desire). Now revived in the '90s by the younger set as another fun way for sexual and verbal role-playing. Results in such personals-ad phrases as, "I'm a soft butch bottom, looking for a bitchy total femme top for some fishing fun. Vegans only."
Crunchy or Extra Crunchy
A Birkenstock-and-wool-socks-wearing granola kind of dyke. Often of the '60s generation, but not necessarily so. Typically embraces old-style feminism, and is generally seen by younger, sex-positive dykes as sexually uptight, too PC and lacking fashion sense. :)
Granola dykes were once venerated for their vast tea collections, wise-women ways, traditional medicines that bypass the male-dominated medical systems, and other whole-earth green stuff. Some still keep secret stashes... and some younger dykes secretly partake.
Lesbian Bed Death
The phenomenon which all too often occurs in long-term lesbian relationships. As in "what do we do tonight, Marge?" "I don't know, Sarah." Snore. Younger sex-positive dykes fear it like the plague. See also: serial monogamy, processing.
Results of lesbian invisibility. Women in general have been ignored by history, lesbians doubly so. Famous strong women like Marilyn Quayle and Hillary Clinton are pictured as lovers on postcards and T-shirts, tomboy Peppermint Patty becomes the baby butch of Peanuts, and film femme fatale Jodie Foster receive her usual share of girlie gossip. An entire zine has been dedicated to her worship.
To some, the phrase "lesbian who sleeps with men" means traitor; for others, it is their chosen identity. Some find the phrase a mutually exclusive impossibility. Are they really just closet bisexuals? Can they be trusted if they are? Is the term lesbian defined by who you fuck, who you love, or your feminist politics?
Lesbian Safer Sex
One current method of dyke safer-sex is the use of latex dental dams of the vaginal region during oral sex. Lesbian-to-lesbian AIDS transmission routes are still a debated issue.
Long-Distance Relationships (That Never Die...)
Generally a byproduct of intense mutual infatuation during the Michigan Women's Music Festival, the annual dyke mating ritual involving lots of granola types running a lesbian Woodstock. Also commonly seen among troupes of traveling activits.
Dykes are not supposed to judge potential partners on looks because it is unfair and in poor taste.
Rush Limbaugh's wet-dream feminazi. Comes in several varieties, from mild to hard-headed.
Endlessly talking out and analyzing a given situation. A jokingly referred-to, yet popular dyke habit borne out of endless political-coalition work. Learning to listen to every single opinion, no matter how asinine. Results in such phrases as "I hear you" and "I can respect that." Often prelude to lesbian bed death.
This is the way some women choose to avoid the possibility of lesbian bed death. Short but exclusive relationships, generally very passionate and intense. Sometimes seen by others (PC Dyke especially), along with long distance relationships, as merely a way of avoiding intimacy.
A feminist dyke who also reads lesbian porn, dresses for effect and doesn't think enjoying penetration is a sign of being a male-identified dupe. Probably grew up with Queer Nation, ACT-UP and Riot grrrls for role models.
A little talked about, but real problem of lesbian partner beating, lesbian rape, etc... For years the problem was ignored by granola dykes too wrapped up in promoting the idea of non-penetrating, peaceful wim-min-loving-wimmin to acknowledge its existence. Little girls are made of sugar...